How do you overcome the pain of the past? This is a question that people often ask themselves whenever all the feelings of hurt come back to haunt them. Each time a person experiences heartache or emotional pain, they may relive their trauma or become depressed because they haven’t moved forward from the event in question.
A past of hurt can keep you from moving forward. Everyone needs to go through the proper emotional healing so that they can move on. The person or experience that has hurt them in the past does not have to prevent them from finding happiness again.
Holding on to the past is a conscious decision, so is teaching yourself how to stop living in the past. You must want to let go so that you can teach yourself to move forward.
One of the things that make you human is your ability to feel pain. Whether it is physical or emotional pain, everyone has felt hurt at one point in their lives. What makes each person unique, though, is their ability to deal with pain.
Experts reveal that people who keep reliving the past are the ones who will find it very hard to move on. Some may even pretend they have forgotten everything until they find themselves in the same situation, and all the hurt comes back.
In the end, they only find themselves stuck in situations where they do not want to be in. One of the best ways to learn how to make peace with your past is to focus on the lessons that it has taught you.
When you focus on those, you will see yourself finally moving on and moving forward to reach new goals. When you continue to be stuck in “what could have been,” you will become immobilized, feeling all the hurt and the pain every time.
If you are trying to move on from a painful experience, but you are not sure where to start, here are some ways to get started:
How do you talk yourself out of feeling stuck? Often, the best help you can get is the one you can give yourself. Start by creating a positive mantra. This will help you reframe your thoughts whenever the need arises.
For example, when you suddenly feel so much pain that you cannot concentrate on doing your work, repeat your mantra. It could be anything that will get your mind off what caused you pain.
“I am fortunate to be out of a bad situation.” “This is a new opportunity to start a new life.” This can help you become free and become the person you want to be.
It is fairly common for people to tell you that you should distance yourself from someone who has hurt you. This doesn’t just mean physical distance, but also emotional and mental distance as well.
However, experts believe that creating that physical distance will allow you to learn to let go of the pain that your aggressor has caused you. It is not just about creating space. It is also about learning not to get hurt or feel the pain that they once caused you.
Whether it is a person or a situation, a reminder of it should not hurt you as much. If it still does, it means you are not yet over it. It is something that you seriously need to work on.
There is nobody else who can help you improve your situation but yourself. Others may extend help, but it is you who needs to focus on your growth. When you put your mind to it, you will be able to make the right call.
Feeling hurt is a choice that you make for yourself. But you can always choose not to feel hurt anymore. You can choose to forgive and forget, not because you hate the person, but because you love yourself.
When you continue to think about the person or the experience that caused you pain, you will never be able to move on. Bring yourself back to what is happening now. For sure, you will find something about it that you can be grateful for.
The practice of mindfulness will teach you the importance of living at the moment. When you focus on what is happening in your life now, you will see that you are no longer as hurt as you were before.
There are so many things in your life at the moment that you feel grateful for. When you look at those and focus your attention on them, you will see how truly wonderful it is to have moved on.
When you start living at present, no hurt from the past will be able to get to you. Instead, they will all be just a memory of something that made you the strong person you are today.
What do you tell yourself whenever you feel like all the pain is coming back, and you find yourself crying? Do you criticize yourself for being so self-centered? Do you mock yourself for running after someone who clearly doesn’t love you anymore?
If you do, then now is the time to stop. Practice gentleness and compassion with others and with yourself. The delicate emotions that you are feeling should never be dismissed as anything. Instead, they should be acknowledged and dealt with accordingly.
Hurt is inevitable, but there is always a way you can avoid pain. However, you choose to treat yourself is the way others will treat you. So instead of making yourself feel worse, it is best to be gentle about it. Practice kindness at all times.
To let go of the past, you must make that conscious decision not to allow them to get to you. Be in control of the situation. Allow yourself to deal with the pain and slowly heal from it too.
And whenever you can, always choose kindness.
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