What makes you happy? Often, people attach their idea of happiness to a particular outcome. And yet, they find themselves disappointed when things turn out that way. They begin to ask if there is some way they can be happy on their own.
Learning how to detach yourself emotionally may be one of the best gifts you can give yourself. You must learn to teach yourself to live without what you are longing for. That’s the only time you can indeed be happy.
This paradox of life has made many people wonder if emotional withdrawal is the key to finding their ultimate happiness. When you recognize the truth that nothing or no one else can make you happy but yourself, that’s the only time you will see the difference in your life. But what does it mean to be detached?
The dictionary defines the term detachment as “the state of being aloof or objective.” You have to teach yourself to look at things from an objective point of view. This is crucial in teaching yourself and practicing detachment.
And yet, on the other hand, being aloof is something that cannot be of good use to you—becoming emotionally aloof means being disconnected from your feelings. This means that you are not emotionally involved in your life decisions, actions, and relationships. Simply put, you don’t care about how you feel towards all these aspects of your life.
Detaching from a relationship may be helpful to you in one aspect, but when you let go of all your emotions in whatever it is that you want, it won’t be of help.
In truth, detachment means deep involvement in the process. The detachment aspect of it comes from the lack of attachment to the outcome of the process. You need to be emotionally involved in the situation, but you do not emotionally attach yourself to the outcome.
This means that when the outcome does not go as planned, you can set aside what happened and focus on what you learned. The learnings that you get out of it is what is truly valuable in every life experience.
Every emotion that you feel in your experience is as real as your goals, dreams, and plans for how you want things to work out. Your ability to step outside and reflect on what can go wrong is what makes you emotionally detached.
True detachment in life is not about separating yourself from life. Rather, it is about having freedom within the mind to explore life without worries. Detachment is about learning to accept what life has to offer and still have the heart to hope for more.
It is quite easy to tell yourself that you need to be emotionally detached, but learning how its done can be quite a challenge. How do you do it? Here are some tips to help you:
What are you thinking of? How do you feel at the moment? Becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions is the first way to become emotionally detached. Recognize the things that are happening to you and how you react to each one.
When you recognize what each situation makes you feel, it is easier to determine how your body reacts to it. Every emotional charge means something to you. No other person can feel the same way in the same situation.
You need to be more observant about how you feel or how your body reacts. You are the only person who can teach yourself how to properly react in particular situations.
When you applied for a job and didn’t get it, your ego might tell you that your failure has ruined your career. But in truth, you are only disappointed by what happened because you never thought you’d never get it.
The loss has reminded you not to expect too much on things before you actually get them. In truth, there was no loss. Perhaps it was another opportunity that came by that’s not for you. The situation of you not getting the job can happen to anyone. The only difference is that your perspective of it was what made it problematic.
Your willingness to embrace uncertainty is the only thing in life that will provide you security. Let go of your attachment to the idea of security and stability, and you will definitely enjoy life more. When you seek security in this lifetime, you will spend your whole life trying to achieve it.
But when you learn to let go and accept that there are some things in life that are beyond your control, that’s when you open yourself to possibilities. In turn, it could open doors of opportunities you never thought were there.
Meditation is the key to releasing your mind of the thought pattern that makes you vulnerable to failure. When the thought or action no longer serves their purpose, let go and let things be. This is the only way you can free yourself from the burden of failure.
Give yourself some time each day to practice meditations. Mindfulness and mediation are the keys to successfully living life without worrying about whether things work out as you wish they would.
You will be able to manage your expectations well, allowing you more room to fail and improve yourself. Through meditation, you will be able to see your life in patterns. From there, you can bring about change.
Emotional detachment is not about not feeling anything. Rather, it is about feeling happy with what you get, no matter how far it is from what you expected. Remember that it is in the practice of life that you will truly feel and see what is deserving of your effort.
Enjoy the journey of life, learn a thing or two, and move on to discover more.
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