The Key To Be Your Own Best Friend When You’re Grieving

articles self-care Oct 12, 2020

How do you overcome grief? Learning how to comfort another person who is dealing with a loss can be quite challenging, but nothing is more formidable than dealing with your loss. Wanting to comfort yourself at this time seems impossible to do. 

But what if there is nothing that you can do to lift your spirits? What if you feel so lost that the fear of losing a loved one has just overwhelmed you? At this point in your life, when it seems no one else is there to help, it is a must that you know how to be your own best friend. 

How Do You Find Comfort While Grieving?

What do you say to someone who is grieving to give them comfort at this difficult time? If the thought challenges you, you can only imagine what the people around you may be going through. 

Although they want to help, they find it challenging. The bereaved are going through a lot, and their struggles are simply unimaginable. They are dealing with intense emotions, depression, anger, and maybe even guilt. 

More often than not, you feel isolated and alone in what you are going through. Since the intense pain and discomfort is very hard to explain, the people around often find it challenging to offer you support. 

They might be afraid to know that their help could be intruding. They want to make you feel that they are there for you and that you are dearly loved, but they just can’t. It will feel like you are all alone in dealing with the different stages of stress

But then again, whatever it is that you are going through, do not let that discomfort prevent you from reaching out and getting help. Now more than ever, your loved ones are there to give you the support that you need. Sometimes, just being around the people you love brings a kind of comfort you cannot explain. 

You are grieving, that’s a fact. But do not let it overwhelm you. The most important thing about grieving is knowing that people are there for you. It is the support and their presence in your life that will provide the ultimate comfort

How Do You Help Yourself Even When You Are Grieving?

How do you help yourself grieve? If it’s difficult to answer this, it is best to ask yourself what you would do if your friend needed you. Being there for a friend is the same way as being there for yourself. It is all about reminding the self that you are not alone in all this. 

How do you give yourself help at this highly emotional time? Here are some tips to help you:

Get a better understanding of your grief

The better understanding you have of the grief that you are going through, the faster you will heal. You have to know what is causing all the pain because it is only then that you can better equip yourself to heal. 

There is no right or wrong way of grieving

Some people cry when they grieve. Others choose to drown themselves in drinks or foods. Some would rather sleep than talk. Knowing what you can do to grieve your own way is an important aspect of suffering and, in time, healing. 

Grief may come with extreme emotions

Feelings of anger, guilt, fear, or despair can be quite overwhelming, and they could cause you to do some things you won’t be proud of. You may find yourself yelling at the people who are trying to help you or lash out on your loved ones because of how bad you feel inside. In the end, you could spend hours crying over it. All you need is reassuring that your loved ones are there to help you because you might not know it, but they perfectly understand how you feel. 

There is no time table for grieving

You can grieve for as long as you want or for as short as you want. Every person grieves differently, so never compare yourself to others. Don’t pressure yourself to move on unless you are really ready to move on. Never feel like you have been grieving for too long. Take your time and allow yourself to feel the pain. You’ll get over it when you are truly ready. 

Take the time to talk to people

It may feel like nobody wants to listen to you, but they do. All that they are doing is waiting for you to be ready to talk to them. When you open up, you will see that they are there for you. There are days when you don’t need to say a word but just cry. That’s totally okay. Simply being there and being able to feel their presence is all that matters.

What Help Can You Get From Others?

It is difficult for grieving people like you to ask for help. You might be feeling guilty when you shouldn’t have to be. The fear of being a burden to other people is what’s stopping you from getting help. Or it could be that you are feeling so down in the dumps you don’t know what to do anymore. 

However, there are still practical ways you can help yourself by asking for other people’s help. Here are some things you can ask others to do for you:

Run errands

Whether it is grocery shopping or buying medications, simply asking other people to do it is helping yourself as well.

Stay in their house

Surrounding yourself with people who care for you and love you should go a long way. It is not about talking or sharing how you feel. It is about knowing you have them whatever happens.

Do the laundry

Housework can be a burden to do, especially when you are feeling down in the dumps. Asking a friend or family to take care of them for you is like giving yourself some help at this difficult time. 

Any kind of help can help. No matter how helpless you feel, you know there is no better person who can help you get through it but yourself. 

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