Why Making Time for Solitude Becomes Difficult

articles self-care May 28, 2020

Have you ever had difficulty being alone? Have you always feared the thought of growing old alone? If you haven't had the chance to take an hour-long walk by yourself because you are afraid of what others would say or how it would make you feel, then you are definitely one of those who do not want to be alone.

There are a few people who indulge in the luxury of silence. Time alone is one of the things they consider a gift because they believe that it is in solitude that they truly find the time for themselves. 

While it may be a blessing for some, being in solitude could also be another person's nightmare. It is one of the things that they fear they cannot survive. An hour spent in nature could be something they genuinely dread because of their inner uncertainty.

Why has it become so challenging to be alone? Why has it become so difficult for others to enjoy the time they spend with themselves?

Why Do You Struggle Being Alone?

When you look at the idea of solitude vs. loneliness, it is easy to understand why a lot of people are scared of the thought of being alone. They have associated solitude with sadness. Do they think that if they are alone, they are suffering? They fear that if they enjoy the time of being alone, it is because they have accepted that no other person could love and accept them.

But then again, one should begin to ask when these thoughts about solitude come into the picture. When the world has become too chaotic and complicated, it is in isolation where we can truly find peace. When does this peace from within turn into fear of being unwanted or unloved?

Despite the busy schedule and the chaotic environment that we have today, people still fear the thought of being alone because of the uncertainty that is associated with it. While no one can truly promise what tomorrow will be, the difficulty of knowing who we are and what we may become is what envelopes the fear of loneliness. 

To deal with the uncertainty of the times, people tend to find comfort in other people. When life becomes too overwhelming, it is the thought that you have someone to lean on that makes it even more worthwhile. But is it worth it? 

Giving up a part of who you are so you could be comforted by someone else may be ideal for some, but it isn't always the case. In truth, stability is only found within yourself. As long as you are comfortable with who you are, what you have become, and what you will be in the coming months, you do not have to worry about the uncertainty of the times. 

The idea of being in solitude is dealing with the quiet in our lives. It is finding comfort in the thought that even though you don't end up like how you imagined yourself, you would, it really does not matter. And though you might mask this as putting yourself under a lot of hard work, you cannot deny the fact that you struggle at dealing with solitude. 

Why do you always have to be full of energy? Slow down. The world isn't going to wait for you, but you don't have to run alongside everyone else. Run at your own pace. Take your time. Your life isn't a race. 

Tips To Find Joy In Solitude

How do you help yourself enjoy the bliss of solitude? When you think of solitude, and you associate it with something negative, think again. We are often influenced by the people and events around us. If you don't find a solution to this problem, you will end up thinking that being with yourself is unbearable. 

How do you teach yourself to love the time you spend alone? How do you go about enjoying solitude? Here are a few tips to make it happen:

Identify how you feel.

What do you feel when you are alone? Is it anger or sadness? Frustration or longing? Once you have identified the emotions that you feel when you are alone, it becomes easier to release them. When you learn to let them go, they won't be able to hurt you. However, if you decide to ignore them, they won't go away.

To be able to identify your feelings, go ahead and write them in your journal. Keeping a diary will allow you to write all the sensations that you feel and the emotions that you have developed towards being alone. 

You could also engage in art therapy if you want. Perhaps talking to a friend or a professional can help ease the burden of being alone. 

Make an effort to deal with it.

Once you have identified the feeling, it is easier to deal with it. For example, you have always been scared of being alone because you feel like being away from your friends and family means no one wanted to be around you. Once the emotions have been identified, do something about the behavior or the attitudes that feed into these negative thoughts.

Make an effort to meet new people. If you live in a new place for work, then go ahead and make yourself some new friends. When you've been surrounded by people who made you feel alone, leave the thought of it behind. Not everyone in the world is like that. 

Take notice of how others want to reach you. Take on that invitation and enjoy the ride. Get to know people, and in the process, get to know more about yourself. Ask yourself if you would go out if you were not scared of the thought of being rejected. If your answer is yes, then go. 

Consider a change of thought. 

What makes you think being alone is unbearable? If you think being single or living alone makes you feel like a total failure, then go ahead and recognize that. Does it make you feel like you are not capable of keeping people in your life? 

The only way to deal with these feelings is to consider a change in your attitude towards solitude. Go out and have coffee by yourself in the middle of a crowded coffee shop. Go ahead and shop alone. 

When you do what you fear the most, you will see how exciting it truly is. Soon, it won't be so scary.

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