Familiarity does not breed contempt. Becoming familiar with negative behavior does. When we are in a traditional workplace, we develop routines that are either helpful or harmful to our relationships. The idea that workplaces are filled with drama is the idea that we cannot control the emotions that we allow into our awareness. This is not the case.
The problem with workplaces is routines not being consciously and intentionally chosen. Most of our habits in a traditional job involve in some way working with other people. Drama or tension, spoken or unspoken, occurs when unintentional routines/habits are formed between two or more people. The practices and routines that most support healthy relationships (and therefore an absence of drama) are those of the way that we communicate to each other and with ourselves. Thus, how we can eliminate workplace drama is by auditing and intentionally re-creating our communication habits. Here are four ideas to consider while attempting to eradicate workplace drama.
Make a list of everyone that you work with, how often you communicate with them, and how honest the communication is. All three of these variables are telling in and of themselves.
Who: Brings awareness to everyone and each person.
How often: Brings knowledge to periods of silence. As you change roles, you may want to stay in touch with people even though the job does not require it.
Heart-based communication: It is here where it is impossible to hold resentment. When you are communicating without the filtration of your ego, you are unable to bring in ill-feelings.
Perceive all people within your workplace to be a characteristic element of who you perceive yourself to be. Just like any good story, the cast of characters within your workplace is not accidental, and every person represents something WITHIN you, not something outside of you. Look around and see the way you perceive people as representing something that you desire within yourself (or desire to be absent of). You can then turn all of your negative attention away from other people and bring that energy in towards the transmutation of something within you.
In any moment where you feel there is drama occurring, ask yourself, "How can I embody unconditional compassion right now, towards every person?" Journal this, very literally, into at least one actionable step. If you want to eliminate the drama, then when it comes up, and you are in it, examine a way out THROUGH a change in perspective to that of compassion towards all. This will FAST TRACK the process. I have a friend that does this to the point where she is ALWAYS programmed to do it. It's incredible, to the point where she can instantly manifest tears of joy and gratitude for being allowed to address a perceived conflict with compassion. It has been so instrumental in her life that she infused much of this idea—unconditional compassion—into creating consumer products for kids. She is wildly successful.
Remember that the drama that you perceive in your workplace says more about you than the workplace. If you understand emotion and feel it, you are seeing and feeling it in yourself. Fundamentally, ask yourself, "Do I desire competition? Or conflict, or being a hero? Or being a savior? Or being a martyr? Do I like having a problem to solve?" If so, do any of these, more into further in whether or not you need to continue to seek that out.
Developing better communication habits at work is as easy as planning and keeping track of your communications. If we put our intention and attention in this area, the drama will automatically be eliminated because we are not focusing on it. Instead, it will focus on the positive elements in the relationships. Perhaps, create for yourself a worksheet to keep track of your communication habits easefully. Filling this out even once per month, if not weekly, will eliminate significant drama!
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