Separation and divorce can be very messy, and most couples would rather not even imagine themselves going through something like that. However, the reality for many couples is that they would be better off apart. When the relationship has been so strained, it’s just impossible to repair the damage. Sometimes, even when a couple does everything to save the marriage, it’s already too late, and they can no longer find reasons to reconcile.
Each failed marriage has its own reasons why it didn’t work. It could be easy to think that the number one reason is infidelity. But one of the most common reasons for divorce is actually the lack of communication between couples. When partners cannot openly talk to each other, it becomes difficult to discuss important matters. Fights and arguments could go on and on without any clear resolution.
There are several causes of divorce today. If you want to prevent your marriage from going down this path, it’s crucial to learn about the reason for separation and the different causes of marriage problems. The more that you learn about what other couples go through, then you can find ways to avoid disastrous mistakes that others made. Here are three reasons why modern marriages fail.
When you become too reliant on your partner, you begin to lose your identity. Retaining your individuality and uniqueness is vital in maintaining a healthy well-being. It’s essential that you still retain your interests even when you’re married. It means that you should also still keep your group of friends. Make it a point to spend time with your own set of friends so you can maintain your social activities outside of your marriage.
It can be tempting to do everything with your significant other. However, we should still be able to do things on our own. It’s nice to try to have coffee by yourself and observe people or read your favorite book. You can also try going for a run by yourself so you can have your me-time and just think. Build your individuality even when you’re married because your uniqueness is what drew your partner to you in the first place.
When a couple gets married, some changes happen along the way. One of those includes the intimacy that they share with each other. Sometimes, one is just not feeling well, and the other takes it negatively. It may be considered as a form of rejection, and the feeling of being hurt because of this is not communicated. It inevitably damages the intimacy of the couple, and they turn cold and distant.
Communication is essential for a long-lasting relationship. It doesn’t always have to be communicated through words. If only couples are more expressive about how they feel, they would be able to address any emerging issues early on. If one feels rejected and hurt, then it will help the relationship if the couple can talk about it. A conversation about each other’s needs and desires is crucial in making sure that both are still satisfied with their intimate relationship.
Intimacy is not always about sex. Simply being warm and comforting to each other achieve a lot in maintaining intimacy. Some would say that they are too busy even to sit down and have small talks with their partner. Don’t allow this to happen to your marriage. Arrange a date night at least once a week so you could spend time with your significant other. Something simple, like watching a few episodes of your favorite shows after the kids are asleep can significantly improve your relationship. Keep the romance alive and make your spouse feel special.
Once a couple ties the knot, they may feel like they no longer have to work on the relationship. The courtship is over, and you already have each other, right? But this kind of mentality damages the marriage. One may become more focused on raising kids, or the other may concentrate on climbing the corporate ladder. They lose the desire to build on their relationship or taking care of each other.
Another important aspect of the marriage that couples forget is that the courting part shouldn’t fade away. Make your marriage one of your top priorities. Spend time with each other, no matter how hectic your schedule is. If you have career ambitions, share it with your partner and talk about it. Share your aspirations and dreams, as well as your goals for the two of you.
If you’re a parent, of course, the kids become your priority, but don’t neglect your spouse in the process. Give your partner time, attention, and affection. Get a sitter so you can spend some nights with your spouse and enjoy the evening. It helps you get a break from your duties as a parent while maintaining your closeness with your partner.
Being in a relationship with another individual is not always going to be easy. It has its own set of challenges that you have to be prepared to overcome. Of course, you’re not going to do this alone. You and your spouse are a team, and making the marriage work and last for a long time is a responsibility for both of you.
Some marriages are worth saving while some couples will be better off if they go their separate ways. Only you and your partner can know what’s best for both of you. Sometimes, holding on to a failing marriage hurts you more than just letting go. But there are also moments that you know that you can still fight for it. You know that you still love your partner, and you want to grow old together.
Whatever your decision may be, remember that blaming each other, finding fault, and pointing fingers will do nothing to help the marriage heal. The best that you can do is to learn to forgive. Love doesn’t keep a record of the wrong things. If you’re at a point where you want to give up, think things through. Is this person someone you’re willing to let go of? Can you imagine living a life without your significant other by your side? Only you can answer these and decide.
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