How to Deal with Insecurities

articles self-care May 17, 2020

In today’s world, where social media has become a part of our everyday lives, comparing ourselves to others is almost unavoidable. And because of this, we often feel insecure with ourselves, including our status, beauty, education, career, financial standing, and more. 

All these things can make our lives even more challenging because we start to feel that we’re not enough, and we can’t cope with life’s demands. However, the truth is that we’re more competent than we think. Many people believe you are a fantastic person and that you’re great at what you do. 

The problem here is when you’re insecure, you feel like you’re not good enough. Uncertainties in our career, status, relationships, and insecurities in love can affect all aspects of our lives. It may even cause some individuals to suffer from depression. 

Right now, maybe you’re buried deep in insecurity, and you think there is no way to dig yourself out. But the truth is that we all have the power to deal with insecurities, whatever they may be. Here are some steps that can help you fight off the feelings of insecurity and feel better about yourself and your abilities. 

Understand Your Feelings

The primary step in dealing with insecurity is understanding your feelings. Take time to reflect and ask yourself why you feel the way you do. It will help you get to the root causes of insecurity so you can find a way to eliminate them. Also, you need to understand the difference between self-esteem vs. self-confidence. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person, and self-confidence is how you feel about your skills and abilities. For example, you may feel like you’re not worthy of love (self-esteem), or you may feel like you’re not good at cooking, and so you don’t deserve a spouse (self-confidence). While esteem and confidence can be interchangeable, if you’re struggling with either of them, they can lead to doubting yourself. 

Once you know how and why you’re feeling insecure, you’ll also know whether or not your insecurities are valid or you’re just overthinking. Another is that once you see the logic of your feelings, you will also be able to treat yourself from this negativity rationally. 

Know that the Causes of Insecurity in Women and Men are the Same

Many factors can cause insecurity. A common one is if you’ve grown up in an unstable environment where you’re always left guessing. For example, were you overshadowed by another sibling or a friend in class when you were younger? 

It is also possible that you’re going through a rough patch in your life, like losing your job or you’re going through a breakup or divorce? You may also have a poor body image and feel socially awkward. Whatever the case may be, significant changes can be challenging when it comes to trying to adjust to the new circumstance. 

Take Things Slowly

When you understand your insecurities and why they emerged, you can now proceed to the second step, which is facing that insecurity head-on. Since you already know the situations that have caused you to feel insecure, you must try to expose yourself gradually to those situations. Pretty much, you want to become desensitized.

For example, if you find social environments challenging, it would be helpful if you can ask a trusted friend or family member to go with you. If you go with a group, most of the pressure will be lifted off of you, and you’ll be able to enjoy the event.

Don’t be scared that your loved ones will ridicule you because of your self-doubts. They will most likely help you and make you feel as comfortable as possible. In time, you will build up confidence so you can go out by yourself and have fun on your own. 

What’s important here is that you practice patience. You may feel frustrated with yourself for having to need others. But here’s the thing: we all need other people. It’s going to be tough at first, but don’t expect yourself to breeze through these steps. Take your time and trust the process. 

Change Your Outlook

We’ve all experienced times in our life where we feel like the universe keeps giving us all these challenges that we can’t seem to overcome. We try so hard, but it feels like we’re always failing at what we do. This next step is not only applicable to individuals dealing with insecurities, but everyone can take advantage of this step. This step is to change your outlook on life.

If you watch the news too often, then you’ll soon believe that the world is a horrible place. There are so many things in the world that we can’t change because we have no power over them. However, we do have the ability to change our own perspectives. You have the choice of whether to look at the negative or the positive things that are going on in your life every day. 

Whenever you have negative thoughts about yourself, immediately think of something that will make you grateful that you are who you are. You don’t feel pretty enough for your husband? Your kids think you’re the most beautiful and kind person in the world. Love yourself more, and don’t focus on the things that you think are your flaws. 

Practice Gratitude

Start by getting yourself a notebook where you can keep track of all the things that you’re grateful for in life. This notebook will be your gratitude journal. Not only will it record what you’re thankful for, but it will also remind you of all the positive things that are going on in your life. 

Another thing to add in this journal is a set of goals that you have for yourself. You can also fight off insecurity by making yourself a better individual. So, if you feel unsexy, tell yourself that you will start eating healthier foods. If you don’t feel smart enough, promise yourself that you will work hard and devote more time studying. 

Remember that you are a wonderful person and that you deserve to be celebrated. Celebrate your beauty, intelligence, and uniqueness. Soon, you’ll find that the feelings of insecurity will no longer have any power over you. Start practicing the steps we’ve shared here and begin transforming your life for the better.

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