Open-Heartedness as a Pillar of Relationship Growth

 While relationships are, in general, places for delight, love, and intimacy, there is another side that is rarely explored. For some, relationships become spaces where they are shut down emotionally, hardened towards love, and turned cold. There is a constant struggle for people to keep an open mind and an open heart

Just like no person is perfect, no relationship is perfect. But everyone can try to be more open about how they feel. When you open up your heart to the many possibilities that could happen, that's the only time you learn how to love everything about your partner. 

What would life be like if people learned how to be more open to each other instead of shutting down? What would happen if people worked on building a real connection with others instead of being in a relationship just because it is convenient to have someone around?

The Challenge of an Open Heart

Open heart meditation is a great tool to use when you want to start connecting to others. It can help you connect to the person you love and to your inner self as well. 

The commitment to love is not just about two people in a romantic relationship. Love can be between parents and their children. Love can be and is often shared between friends, business partners, mentors, and every other relationship that is out there. 

Everyone must love with an open heart. It is the strength that builds relationships and makes them last a lifetime.  

If it is so important, why is it so challenging to keep an open heart? Here are some things you might want to consider:

  • Loving yourself less than you should. Before you can give love to others, you must learn your love yourself. The practice of cultivating love always begins with the self. How can you project love to others if you don't feel the same for yourself? Sometimes, people who do not love themselves tend to seek it out from other people. And when they don't get it, they feel disappointed and may lash out at others. 
  • Finding fault in others can be quite easy, especially when you don't feel as confident about yourself as you should. You forget about marveling in other people's good qualities because you are too focused on wanting them to improve for you. You have expectations about how you want them to be, and when they do not meet it, you end up being too critical, forgetting that it is love that brought you together. 
  • When you want to be in control of other people's behavior, and they don't let you, you begin to wonder if being with them is worth it. You ask yourself if it's love that you feel for them. Having too high of expectations of yourself and others is only going to destroy every relationship you try to build with others. 
  • When you choose to look at other people's mistakes and try to change them, then you aren’t loving them. Being overly judgemental isn't healthy for any relationship, whether you just got together or you've been together for a long time. It makes you too focused on what they are not instead of seeing who they are. It is okay to be observant, and communicate how you like to be treated, but condemning someone for not being who you want them to be is just plain wrong. 

What Can You Do To Have A More Open Heart?

Want to bring more love into your life? Here are some of the things that you can do to open your heart: 

Look at others from a fresh perspective: open mind open heart. 

How you look at other people affects the way you treat them. If you truly desire to keep an open heart, then open your mind as well. More than likely, the people around you are doing the best they can with what they have been given, just like you. Manage your expectations of others, and you will see how hard they've been trying to show you how much they care about you. 

You may not be aware of it, but your subconscious controls 95 % of your brain function. So if you are trying to be tough and you don't want others to see your weaknesses, then the problem is not with them, but with you. If you're going to live with a heart open any possibility, forgive others for the things that they cannot do for you. Allow them to grow at their own pace and become their own individual person. 

Do the same for yourself. Don't be too self-absorbed, trying to be perfect for others. You know you will never be able to achieve that. Everyone can be their own self, no matter what upbringing they have had. Grow and let others grow at their own pace. 

Break down your walls and allow others in. 

Each person has an experience that caused them deep sadness, extreme pain, and even trauma. It is because of these events that people have learned to put their defenses up in order to protect themselves. The wall in every heart is the one that keeps people from truly loving. 

These walls hinder people from loving unconditionally. Their fear of being hurt is an excuse to keep themselves from pursuing what they are genuinely passionate about, whether that is true love or a successful career. A person only becomes vulnerable when they face the fear that prevents that from loving another person deeply. 

Bring those walls down and allow yourself to experience everything. From the joys and happiness of new love to the pain and sorrow of losing a person you love. Connect with others because that is the only way you can connect with yourself. 

The practice of unconditional love for yourself is the first step to truly learning how to love. Look within and find the courage to accept your faults and weaknesses. It is only then that you would be able to accept the love of others.

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