How to Overcome Your Fear of Failing

What are you most afraid of? The fear of failing phobia can affect anyone, young and old alike. Sometimes, it is the fear of failing that makes us try to do out best in every given situation. In those cases, it can be seen as an opportunity for growth. 

And yet, many suffer from the fear that they are doing things the wrong way. They are afraid that they might be too far behind or that they should be pursuing something else more worthwhile than what they are interested in now. 

Have you ever wondered if you could really handle everything that you have put on your plate? Or are you also afraid that you might have taken on some things that you really could not handle? The acceptance of failure becomes hard for most of us even though we know that we have given it our best shot. 

This type of fear is constant and it brings about the kind of stress you wouldn't wish on anyone. Why are you so stressed? Why do you fear failure so much?

Where Does This Fear Come From? 

It may be from any of these: 

  • You want something different from what you already have at the moment. You expect yourself to be this person, but you end up being that instead. You have expectations from people who are important to you, and you fear that they might not be able to deliver. You expect the world to be one thing, but it turned out to be something else. 
  • You are overwhelmed by the fact that everything in your life at the moment is full of uncertainties. And because you fear uncertainty means groundlessness and the lack of opportunities for a bright tomorrow, you worry about failing to build yourself and have a solid grounding. 
  • You spin your head around the thought that nothing that you worry about right now is worth it. They begin to make you feel anxious about what is truly important. 

There is a struggle in accepting failure because people associate it with something terrible. When the truth is that there is so much learning in one's failures. In fact, it also opens doors for new opportunities that you never thought were there. 

Do You Have That Unspeakable Fear of Failing?

Everyone hates failing, but for some people, it presents a different kind of danger. Failing meant a threat in their motivation to improve themselves. Failing puts them in a position to take on new opportunities because they are too afraid to fail themselves again. 

The unspeakable fear of failure unconsciously hinders them from taking on the chances to succeed in their own unique way. Failing elicits unwanted feelings of negativity, anger, frustration, and disappointment. 

Are you suffering from the fear of failing? Are you worried about the following?

  • What other people would think about you.
  • Whether you have the ability to pursue what you truly desire. 
  • That other people might not find you interesting as you want them to.
  • Your capacity to do things and being a disappointment to other people. 
  • Failing altogether even before you give it a try. 

If you experience any of these, then you absolutely have to rethink some things and learn to forgive yourself in the process, too. It is only when you have that change of heart and mind that you begin to see things in a different light. 

Don't be afraid of failure, instead, be afraid of the fact that you might not get another chance at improving yourself. 

What Do You Do To Overcome the Fear Of Failing?

The primary problem with dealing with the fear of failing is that everything about it comes from the unconscious. For example, you might feel the need to clean up the house even though you still have a task at hand that you badly need to finish. You get that feeling that if you don't clean up the house now, you will never be able to clean it in time for the self-deadline you imposed. 

And because you did give in to the urge to clean the house, you didn't finish the task at hand. And because you decided to clean the house a bit too late, you also did not meet the deadline you have set for yourself. You end up feeling frustrated because you didn't accomplish anything that you promised yourself you should. 

What do you do then? Here are two crucial things you need to consider:

Own up to the fear 

The first most important element of getting rid of the fear is owning up to failure and learning from it. Whenever you fail, you feel two things that are all too familiar - fear and shame. Find someone you can talk to about these things and remember to choose someone you feel most comfortable with. Admit to them that you have your expectations and that you failed to meet them. Tell them how you felt when you were not able to do things right. 

Bring these feelings out and be open to talking about them before they become part of your unconscious that could fuel your desire to sabotage yourself. Get yourself the reassurance that all will be well in time. Empathy from the people you trust will help you boost your confidence so you could eventually try again. After all, self-worth is most essential to help you deal with unwanted feelings of failure

Focus on the idea of being in control 

When it seems feelings of fear overwhelm you, remind yourself to be in control. You can do this by managing your expectations, and think of the many ways you can reframe the task at hand to ensure that you are in control. Be prepared to fail and learn from it because you don't have to be successful in every task. The more important thing is that you try again when you fail. 

Trust in yourself that you can learn a thing or two from failing. There is no harm in trying again. What's worse is when you stop because you failed. That's when you stopped yourself from learning more. 

The fear of failure comes from the idea that you fear not being wanted or accepted because of your failure. Remember that such feelings should begin from you. Learn to accept that success doesn't always count learning. Sometimes, it is when we fail that we learn the most.

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