What are you worried about at the moment? If you think of the past and all the pain it has caused, you are not helping yourself. Holding on to the pain or nursing a grudge against what others have done to you isn't going to make anything better.
Set yourself free—this is what most people would tell you. But then, the truth is that the act of letting go is easier said than done. Don't you just wish things were different? When it comes to dealing with the past, there is nothing else you can do to help yourself but to let go of everything.
When you accept whatever it is that is holding you back, you will be able to process it, accept it, and eventually let go of it. That's how you bring about change in your life.
You are hurting now because you are thinking about what hurt you in the past. You are worried that it might happen again. You think that forgiving those who have hurt only allows them to hurt you again.
While there might be some truth to all your fears, you are not looking at it at the right angle. Forgiving the people who have hurt you allows you to fully let go and free yourself from all the pain they have caused. The decision to hold on to the past is entirely yours.
The same is true when you deal with the pain and just let go of it. Remind yourself that the pain from your past does not define you. They are also not who you are. You may have trouble letting go of the past because you think that it is a part of who you are.
But then, holding on to it is not helping you at all. In truth, it may be hindering you from truly becoming yourself. Perhaps you are afraid that you may not fully realize who you are without that pain.
And yet, at some point, you have to simply let go. It is not about forgetting. Rather, it is about coming to terms with the pain and dealing with the people that caused it. From there, you can move on with your life and become the best version of yourself.
Can you train yourself to let go? You can. For as long as you have the drive to get rid of what keeps you from moving on, you can do it. Whether it is that bad relationship of the grudge against others, here are some helpful tips you can enjoy:
You must accept that you and your partner are different people. While you may have ideas about what your relationship is supposed to be like, things don't always fall in place.
As time goes by, you will realize that the other person may not be what you expect them to be. And you just have to learn to accept that as a fact. Through this, you will be able to move on and allow life and your relationship to evolve with time.
Accept that some people in your life may not be who you expect them to be, and that's not on you. Practice gratitude for what you have, and in the process, you will learn to accept and just trust the process.
The expectations you have set for yourself and for others can sometimes lead you to bad outcomes. There is no one, not even yourself, who can guarantee you a good life. When it comes to other people, your expectations may not always be met, and that's okay.
When your expectations are not met, teach yourself to be rational about it. Respond appropriately and allow yourself to set some meaningful boundaries. Instead of focusing on the outcomes, look into the process, and get lessons you can learn from there.
At this point, you might just want to decide to let go of everything.
If you always think that you cannot do something, you are convincing yourself in the process that you may never be able to do it. Never think that you cannot make things happen just because others have said you can't.
Believe in yourself more and be more open-minded. There will always be people who won't believe in you, and you simply have to let them be. But you have to teach yourself to trust the process.
The truth is that you have to work to prove these people wrong. You are the only one who can chain yourself to disappointments. So if you get the chance to make a change, make sure to grab it. Do yourself a favor and do something that you really want.
You are not the person that you are because of what happened to you. You are your own person because of who you choose to be. This is an important reminder you need to tell yourself every day.
Holding on to the past is not going to help you. It will only brew negativity inside of you. So when you realize that it is holding you back, let go of it and move on. You are not the pain that you feel. You are your own person who has grown from that pain.
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