What parent has not lost their temper whenever their kid misbehaves? It is nearly impossible for a parent not to lose their temper with their kids. Whether it is talking back, eye-rolling, or the constant complaining, children always seem to find a way and push their parent's buttons.
While parents would like to embody happy parenting, some also find it hard to manage their emotions. No parent is ever perfect in raising their kids, but everyone is trying their best.
How do you teach yourself to keep calm and stay cool and keep your emotions in check?
Losing your temper as a parent is defined as the point when you start yelling at your kids. When you resort to calling them names, throwing things at them, and threatening severe consequences for their actions like throwing them out of the house or going to bed without dinner, then you've lost your temper.
It is not surprising how a power struggle can happen between parents and their children. For the younger kids, it could mean getting dressed, following nap time, or eating their food. For older children, it could mean not following the rules or disrespecting the limits. Sometimes, the issue could involve their socialization, not wanting to do chores, and being dishonest.
When it comes to your temper as a parent, "losing it" does not just mean resorting to physical violence. If you have started to physically punish your children, you need to get some help to avoid becoming abusive. Is there help out there?
Help is available for parents too. You don't need to be embarrassed. Parents should learn to take on the responsibility for their actions when they know they have crossed the line. This spells out mutual respect in the family.
While your kids' actions may be pretty obvious reasons why you lose your temper, let's dig a little deeper.
Parents often find themselves in a difficult situation when they seem to be in a power struggle with their children. No matter what age their child may be, a parent who finds themselves battling with their kid will almost always lose it. They begin to deal with difficult and complex emotions like loving their children while still being severely frustrated. It's hard to balance the negative with the positive.
Whenever parents feel like their powers are being tested by their young, they exert more effort to make their child follow. As the parent tries to exert more control, the child easily wins by merely saying, "no." Some of them may even have an excuse, however terrible or weak it may be.
This is when a parent begins to feel more frustrated about the situation. They begin to lose the original reason why they got so mad. They become too focused on re-establishing their authority to address the real issue.
Some parents usually reach the end of their rope when they are dealing with their older children. Adolescents and pre-adolescents who expose themselves to danger when they are out of their homes often start an unwanted argument with their parents.
The physical risks, not to mention the moral dangers of engaging in activities that go against the values and beliefs of the family, are the main reasons why parents and their children fight. At this point, it could range from the type of music they listen to, their recreational activities, and even the videos that they watch online.
In such instances, parents usually impose limitations that their children don't like. Kids see this retaliation as a violation of their right to do what they want. Oftentimes, their "freedom speech" goes as follows: "That rule is unfair, and if it's unfair, then I don't have to follow it."
Various parenting techniques can be applied to your parenting situation. The most important thing to focus on right now is how you can keep your cool as a parent while making your child feel how much they are loved.
Here are some tips to help you.
Never take your child's behavior as a personal attack. That's why most parents get mad because they think their child is acting a certain way as a form of personal offense. The anger is not helping improve the situation. If you can, remove yourself from the equation. That way, you can look at the situation more objectively. When you finally see what help they need, you can provide it in the best way possible.
Kids may not know their way into the world yet, but they will soon find out how. You don't always have to tell them to act like this or like that. Sometimes, the best way to teach them is not to lay down the law all the time. If you always tell them what to do, they will never learn how to make decisions independently. Instead, let them be. Be their guiding light instead.
In certain situations, children want something, but they cannot truly express what it is. They become afraid and sometimes angry. Yelling at them won't be helpful. You are only teaching them to resent you. Instead, provide them comfort. Talk to them calmly and try to help them understand how they feel. Show them some empathy and compassion. You would like to receive the same if it were you.
When your problem is how to keep your cool as a parent, you need to loosen yourself up a bit. No matter how frustrating it may seem, keeping your kids feeling loved and cared for is the best thing you can do.
You may not always agree with them and their actions. They feel the same way too. Just remember to accept them for who they are. Love them with all your heart and give away hugs instead of screams.
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