Are you suffering from a miserable marriage, or do you often ask yourself, “Should I stay in my relationship?” Being with another person is not going to be great all the time. There are pros and cons to each relationship that we should all consider before committing to a person. If we don’t think things through thoroughly, we may find ourselves in a situation where it’s too good to leave and too bad to stay.
It’s not just in relationships that we encounter this problem with commitment. There are times when we just do our work for the sake of finishing our tasks. How often have we done something quickly so that we can get it over with? It no longer matters to us whether the job was done to the best of our abilities or not. We want it off our to-do list, so we haphazardly finish it.
Another typical example is our commitment to dieting and working out. It often starts at the beginning of the year as a New Year’s resolution. But after a few weeks of being half-committed to the new routine, we end up going back to our old, unhealthy habits. So, how do we truly deepen our commitment to relationships, work, and the promises we make to ourselves?
Sticking to your commitment is not always going to be easy. Sure, there are going to be times when things seem to be effortless. However, there will also be tough times when you start to question if doing this task or following through with that commitment is even worth it. Let’s take a look at some of the steps on how we can practice deepening our commitment. A quick disclaimer: if you are ever in danger or are getting physically or emotionally abused in any relationship or business, you have every right to get out and get help.
When you’re not fully committed to something or someone, you may think that you have other options or that you have the choice not to stick to your commitment. If you’re on a diet but not entirely committed to eating healthy, you may think that you can still go out with your friends and eat unhealthy foods. You’ll be able to find all the right excuses for why you can break your own rules. You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.
So, the first step to staying committed deeply is convincing yourself that you don’t have any choice but to stick to what you’ve committed yourself to. Do the things that you have to do. So, when you promise yourself that you’ll work out so you can lose weight, go to the gym even if you don’t feel like it. If you’ve set out to write your first novel, write every day even if you’re not inspired. That’s how you start seeing results.
You may have gone through your whole life on auto-pilot. Maybe you’re just going through the motions of your routine. That’s not how things should be when you’re deeply committed. You have to show up every day, and you have to do every single task whole-heartedly. Give it your all. Give your whole being into producing great work.
It goes the same for people. If you spend time with someone you value, show them that you are truly present. Listen to them and engage them in meaningful conversations. Be attentive and make them feel that you are there for them a hundred percent. Stop looking at your phone or your watch. Imagine if you were in their shoes. You’d feel bad, right? So commit yourself whole-heartedly.
Do you even remember why you’re doing what you’re doing? If you’ve forgotten your reasons for committing to something or someone, then maybe that’s why you haven’t been doing your best to stick to that commitment. You know that you have deep reasons for staying in your relationship or your job. Think about those reasons and remember why they are important.
It’s vital that you keep these reasons in your mind and heart. You’ve committed, and you have the responsibility to see it through. As an exercise, get a notebook and compile the reasons why you do what you do. For example, why are you staying in that job? You can put all the practical reasons like “to pay the bills,” “to save for retirement,” and so on. Or you can also write “because it’s a stepping stone to the career I want to pursue.”
Observe yourself so you can assess if you’re upholding your promises or you’re simply doing things on autopilot. You can then ask yourself what’s stopping you from fully committing yourself to this person, task, job, or whatever it is you’ve committed to. Think of the reasons that are blocking your way. Maybe it’s fear or anxiety, and maybe you haven’t been focused enough.
It’s also possible that a part of you is resisting commitment. In a relationship, you may not want to take the next step yet to get married. You ought to be completely honest with yourself as to why this is so. You have to understand what’s stopping you from making the next move. It’s better to know yourself like this than jump into something you’re not fully committed to. You’re just going to hurt yourself and other people if you continue to go through the motions.
When you’ve committed, it’s best to uphold it and see things through. However, you must also evaluate your happiness, among other things. Is this relationship still making you happy? Is this job still giving you a sense of fulfillment? Sticking to your commitment won’t be good for you if you’re going to be miserable anyway.
Remember that you can get out of commitments that you can’t uphold. Is your diet not working because you can’t stop drinking soda? Try taking things slow, and don’t beat yourself up for not seeing things through. We’re all human, and we have our limitations. What we can do is to give ourselves fully and not do things half-assed. That’s how we stay deeply committed.
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