Why Wholeness Is Something We Yearn For

articles self-care Jun 14, 2020

Have you had that feeling of being incomplete? You may have felt it during your younger years, or perhaps you’ve felt it your whole life. It’s that feeling where it seems like something’s missing or something’s not quite right. There’s this void inside you, and you can’t figure out what it is.

It’s possible that you also feel lonely because somehow, there’s this disconnect between you and others. You have this nagging thought that you just don’t fit in. As you grew older, this loneliness and disconnect may have turned into further isolation and unfulfillment. 

Why We Need to Feel Whole

Even if we think that we’re self-reliant and independent, deep down, we still feel the need to connect and foster intimacy with other people. We try to get it from social media, but this doesn’t give us the satisfaction that we’re looking for. You may have tried using dating apps so you can meet new people. However, there’s something about dating that doesn’t give you that intimacy that you’re actually craving. 

Do you find yourself looking at your friends’ photos on social networks to see what they’re doing? It’s easy to think that they’re having the best times of their lives. They’re doing something meaningful and fulfilling. You may have compared your experience with theirs and wondered, “What am I doing wrong with my life? Why can’t I be like them?” Even if you know that not everything you see online is real, you can’t help but feel envious. You want to do more with your life and want to feel that satisfaction of living your life to the fullest. 

The moment we wake up, we immediately grab our phones and begin the day distracting ourselves. We’re always looking for something exciting and interesting. We no longer challenge ourselves so we can achieve that fulfillment we’re looking for. Instead, we try to gratify ourselves with what’s quick and convenient. How often do you feel excited whenever a notification from your social media sites says you got likes and views on your post?

We spend our time on social media, reading the latest celebrity gossip, listening to music or audiobooks, and other activities. While there’s nothing wrong with this, overspending your time on these activities will not bring you any real meaning. It’s time that you give yourself space to be just still and quiet so you can reflect and realize what it is that you genuinely want to do with your life. 

Useful Steps To Feel Whole Again

How many times in our lives have we found ourselves giving in to consumerism to make us feel satisfied and fulfilled? Yes, it may make us feel happy and excited, but only for a fleeting moment. Whatever positive feelings you may experience won’t really last. You will still look for that sense of wholeness, and buying new things will not give you this. 

Food, television, alcohol, gadgets, and other things that can be bought with money will not give you lasting satisfaction. The journey to wholeness is not about acquiring material things. It is more about spiritual healing and achieving wholeness healing. You may be wondering what these mean. Don’t worry. Achieving wholeness is just a few simple steps away. 

Give yourself time to be still

Like many of us, your life may be so busy that it feels impossible to find the space, let alone the time to be still and quiet. But if you genuinely want to feel whole, you need to make time to disconnect from all the distractions. It doesn’t have to be for a long time. You can take an hour every night before bed to disconnect from your gadgets. Allow your mind to be quiet and not always stimulated by your phone. It may take some time to get used to, but you’ll soon realize that you’re alright, even without your gadgets. 

Embrace the discomfort

In the process of making yourself whole again, you may feel some discomfort because you’re not used to being still. Now, you have some time to really think and ask yourself some critical questions. You can ask yourself about what you really want to do and how you can contribute to the world. It may seem daunting, but it will also inspire you to think bigger. You can go beyond yourself and imagine how you can use your knowledge and skills for something beyond your own satisfaction and fulfillment. 

Appreciate your goodness

You may have been too hard on yourself in the past because you felt useless. If you think that you’re not doing anything to make the world a better place, maybe you don’t appreciate yourself enough. Look into your heart and appreciate how much of a good person you are. Right now, you may already be thinking about how you can share what you know so that other people can use it. Maybe you’re thinking about starting a business so you can provide employment. These thoughts and dreams prove that you’re good. You just have to act on them so that they don’t remain as mere thoughts. 

Connect with the world around you

Once you step outside of yourself and observe the wider world, you will also want to do more, not just for yourself but for your community. You can now see that you’re a part of something bigger, and you’re not isolated and alone at all. This will allow you to feel whole again. You are connected with everyone and everything around you, and that’s beautiful. 

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel complete. You don’t need someone else’s love to feel loved. If you appreciate what you have in your life, your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and others, you don’t have to keep looking for that special someone to make you feel special. You are already exceptional, remember that. 

Your wholeness relies on you. Only you can make yourself whole. Having people around may drown the loneliness and isolation, but when you can truly love and appreciate yourself, then that’s what will complete you. 

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