What does it mean to have a fear of being left out? Do you feel bad when you can't say "yes" to opportunities that come your way, even if you're already stretched thin? It can be depressing.
But the truth is that saying "no" to opportunities that come your way is not as bad as you think. What is actually wrong is when you say "yes" to too many things, and you end up overloaded.
When you are doing too many things at the same time just because you want to prove that you can do it all, that's when it becomes a problem. Even when you're doing too much, the fear of not doing enough eats at you. This is the fear of missing out, or FOMO.
You may be asking yourself, "Why does it feel like there is something missing in my life?" Too much exposure to social media has got you thinking about what others have. It has forced you to compare your life to the life of those around you.
When you learned that a good friend just earned her post-graduate studies, you regret not finishing the one you started years back. When you saw that an old friend just gave birth, suddenly, being single or childless made you feel badly about yourself.
Reading about all the things that others have been busy doing has made you stop to ask yourself, "Are the things I'm doing right now even worthy of my time?" You begin to assess yourself if what you are doing is right. You start to see that there is so much in life that you haven't achieved, and it makes you really sad.
One of the things that genuinely make you feel the fear of missing out on a lot of stuff is the idea that others have achieved more than you have, whether or not that is true. You feel it more when you learn that others are way ahead of you and that you should not have slowed down a bit in life. Perhaps you were sick, burnt out, or just weren't sure what to do. But now others are ahead of you.
Why do you fear that you are missing out on a lot of things? You feel this because you always compare yourself with others. You think this because you are not satisfied with what you have. You fear this because comparing your life with others makes you feel like you are not enough. It is normal to feel this way.
As long as you don't recognize the good things that you have in this life, you will always feel like you are missing out.
Whenever you feel like you are missing out on something, you tend to shy away from people important to you, thus enhancing the FOMO. Your relationships may be affected significantly. But how do you teach yourself to overcome it?
Here are some tips to help you reduce your fears:
Take your time to do the things that you usually do at a fast pace. Enjoy activities like eating, talking, driving, and cleaning. Engaging everyday living tasks at a slower pace will give you more time to reflect on your life choices. Get the support that you need by asking people for help. If you are wondering how to get over something that bothers you, find a person you can trust and start talking to them. Slow down and use the time to communicate with the people around you.
When asking yourself what is most important, remember to go for the things that will genuinely improve the quality of your life. Be more willing to say "no" to the things that you don't really need. They add clutter in your life. The same goes for people. Don't keep people in your life who do not serve a purpose or who don't bring you joy. Free yourself from negativity and let go of the people who don't deserve your kindness. When you ask yourself, "What am I missing?" make sure to practice discernment.
It doesn't matter if this new skill is going to bring you money or good luck. As long as you want to learn it, then go ahead and do it. There are always going to be people who will tell you what they think, whether or not you're asking for advice. There's always that concept that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but it does not matter. Accomplish things at your own time and pace. Learning never stops, and as long as you want to keep on learning a skill, what other people think does not matter at all.
If you always wish for more, you will never feel like you have all that you want. Yearning for something is good. It helps you look forward to the possibilities that life has to offer. However, you should look at your dreams from a fresh perspective. Decide on your priorities and focus your mind on achieving those. Don't worry about what other people think or what other people have. There will always be someone who has it "better" than you, but that doesn't matter. Keep your mind and your heart focused, and you will find the true meaning of living.
As much as multitasking works, you know you don't have to do everything all at once. Instead, allow yourself to respond to one action at a time. Doing tasks simultaneously only means you have divided your attention. More often than not, only one of them can be done right, and others will have to suffer. Don't let yourself get fooled into thinking that doing more than one thing will save time. Instead, take the time to focus on one thing. Finish it before you move on to the next. You'll feel more fulfilled after the fact.
At the end of the day, you only feel like you are missing out on things when you don't see the value you have. When you turn your head and look at things from a more positive perspective, you will see how blessed you are.
At this point, there is nothing else that matters but your happiness. Live life at your own pace, fall in love with life again, and live life as it happens.
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