This is a question that many people are asking right now. As we shift our individual vibrations, we quickly find ourselves moving in and out of friendships. Some of this is totally natural, and some of this is based on judgment and scarcity. Here are four ideas to consider if you are wanting to build and keep strong relationships.
You will never find someone with the exact mix of views and perspectives that you have. That is impossible because it does not exist, nor is it desirable. We struggle to maintain relationships many times because we hold on to the ideals and judgments of others.
We intended to come here to experience much contrast, not much similarity, such that we will be able to be masters in seeing what, from one perspective, is very different, as ultimately the same thing through the view of love and compassion. i.e. this is the training ground for developing the skill of unity consciousness.
We many times meet and befriend people only to, over time, see the relationship distance itself because both you and the person are growing. People and personalities evolve. We try to put people in boxes in terms of what they mean to us from our perspective, and this does not allow for change. Remove this habit and peer into the soul of the person, not just the skin.
We can't always maintain the same quantity of correspondence with those that we love, but we can make a point to touch base with people. Choosing a social media outlet where you can share who you are and connect with friends over time has never been easier.
Or, personalized communication - the old fashioned way to show love - works wonders. When is the last time you called a friend to "catch up?"
I had a Spirit Science friend that had a fantastic practice of sending personalized notes to all stakeholders in his life. He didn't separate his vendors from his family from his mentors, in that sense. These were all people that were supporting him in some way, and some more than others.
He made it a weekly routine to send out at least 15 messages of gratitude and "check-ins" with those in his concentric circles of support. While he was undoubtedly learning other lessons in transcending self-doubt, he was always able to find support within one degree of separation for anything that he needed - emotional processing, an adventurous weekend, free tax advice, whatever. He is one of the best-resourced people that we know because of his initiative to prioritize the strength of his connection with people.
Do an audit of your previous relationships that you perceive to have ended prematurely and be honest with why they started and why they stopped. There is excellent learning here that can be applied to your current relationships. Understand that all ties with other people are simply a reflection of the relationship that you have with that part of yourself. If you desire but have not seen a sustainable relationship with your mom, ask yourself what it is about what your mom represents to you that you are not at peace with within yourself?
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